lebanese | [ DDD Inbox ]

How do you ask someone to have a threesome? And no, for the record, not you. I learned my lesson the last time I complimented you.

What makes you think that I would even know.

Oh, I have no idea if you would know, but I assume that you'd at least know how to ask even if you've never done it before.

Look, Berry. I'm about as subtle as a trainwreck. If I wants something, I'm not going to beat around the bush about it. So, knowing your namby-pamby-ways, you're probably asking the wrong person.

Edited 2011-10-23 07:18 (UTC)

Oh.

Right.

So either grow some balls, or don't. That's all there is to it.

[Pick up, pick up.]

[ It's a good thing she doesn't know why you're calling yet, because she picks up (however reluctantly). ]

What do you want?

[:/]

Hi to you too, Santana. Em..did you check the community lately? It would be a good idea to do it.

[ There's a slight pause, as Santana lowers her phone away from her ear and pulls up the community as he suggests. At first, nothing seems out of the ordinary, but then -- ]

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

[he's waiting for her to start cursing in Spanish, when that doesn't happen he continues.]I'm sorry this happened.

Hi santana I need ur help w sumthing but u hav2 promise not 2 laugh or b...u, bout it

Oh, come on... Where's the fun in that?

[ A few minutes later. ] Fine, fine. What is it?

I mean it. Its about...boobs

Uhh. Okay. Could you maybe be a little more specific?

Kurt says i need a bra but i dunno how 2 tell wat size i am

You need to get measured. I could tell you how to do it yourself but I'm not sure how accurate that'd turn out. Plus knowing you, you'd try and use the wrong kind of measuring tape in the first place.

Hey im not that stupid :/ its the soft ones we use in glee wen were gettin new costumes not the metal ones ud find in a toolbox rite? Who does it if i cant do it myself??

Hey, you're not answering your phone... which means maybe you're probably having birthday sex right now. [Sam laughs.] Just kidding. Anyway, just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Dunno how you're spending your day but I hope you're not alone otherwise I will personally come to your house and bug you. But I'm sure you've got better things to do than hang out with me, so... yeah. That's all I wanted to say. Have a nice day, Santana. Bye.

Yes, that's right. Usually you get it done at the bra shop or whatever, but considering you don't even have a single bra to start with, I'm not sure that's the best idea. Why are you asking me anyway? Isn't Berry around?

[ She's... Actually really touched that he remembered the date, especially given all the drama that went down last year before, during, and after their sham of a relationship.

Her finger hovers over the callback button as she inwardly debates with herself. After a long moment she cancels out of the menu and starts composing a simple text as well. ]

Thanks|

[ Ugh, shit. Why does she even care? ... Biting her lip, she cancels out the menu once more and quickly hits "call" before she can change her mind yet again. ]

[Sam's in the middle of playing video games with Finn (if you think it's all they do all day, it is) when he hears his cellphone buzz. He sees it's Santana calling and looks surprised about her calling him back. He thinks about putting Santana on speakerphone so he can carry on playing Call of Duty since Finn is being a douche and refuses to pause the game, but maybe she doesn't want Finn to overhear whatever she has to say so he leaves the room to accept her call.]

Hey. What's up?

Shes nt answerin her cell. I dnt think i wnt some stranger lookin@ my boobs cnt u just tell me how 2 do it?

Yeah, I can try. It'll probably be easier if I call, though. Or... Wait. I'm supposed to be going shopping with Kurt anyway so if you want I guess I could do it real quick while I'm already there.

[ DDD Inbox ]

[text] post-genderswap

[text] and yet she keeps bringing it up... ohoho

[text] OF COURSE she keeps bringing it up :|a bitter rachel is bitter

[text] >:3

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[phonecall.]

[phonecall.]

[phonecall.]

[phonecall.]

[phonecall.]

[text; backdated to beginning of grabbag]

1/2

2/2

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[voicemail ~ backdated to Santana's birthday]

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[call]

[call]

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